Everywhere I go I have been hearing the phrase, “The new normal”. Honestly, nothing is normal about day-to-day life, this year. I’m not usually the type to dwell on the negative, but lately things have just been wearing me down. Of course, I am not alone in feeling this way and I seek no sympathy. However, there is relief for me in blogging my feelings. One day, I’d like to look back on these diary posts and truly bask in the glow of gratefulness, for having made it through this rough season of life. For that is all it is…a season. This too, shall pass.

As I write this, sirens go off outside my work office window. It’s hurricane season and Louisiana is once again in the crosshairs of a storm. Literally. The threat of Hurricane Marco and Laura due to converge upon this state is downright terrifying. Dealing with one natural disaster is enough; two is just overwhelming. As always, I pray that everything just be OK and whatever God has planned for us, that he provide all that is needed; especially the strength to make it through.

I should be excitedly discussing last minute plans before our big wedding day, but instead I’m here to report sad news. 🙁 Our wedding is postponed. I guess I should have anticipated this, given the socioeconomic climate right now, but I was holding on to that mustard seed sized bit of faith I had left. It seems every month leading up to I Do, brought a new challenge, until we were faced with the ultimate let down. Our local Justice of the Peace has cancelled all Civil Ceremonies for the foreseeable future. I just had to accept this truth when I called for over a week to confirm our appointment and received no call back. Applying for a marriage license was impossible at that point, with my scheduled date floating in the wind. This year has simply been…

Aweful.

My dear Mother-In-Law passed away early July; shortly after Independence Day. My fiancee has been changed immensely from this experience. I was by his side when he had to say goodbye to his father some years ago and now, watching him do the same to the last of his kin is heart-wrenching. The scariest part of all is knowing, someday, I’ll be in the same position and I’m afraid to be a parentless child..no matter how old I am.

Death seems to be more apparent than ever this year. It seems to move closer and closer; touching families that you know and not just hear about on the news broadcast. We laid my uncle to rest last weekend; a close co-worker of mine lost her Dad; another an in-law. So much pain, suffering and grief. I find it harder and harder to be happy and when I do find joy in small things, I immediately feel guilt knowing the world around me still suffers. But I have to. I have to continue to find small reasons to smile, ’cause despite everything going on, there is always something to be thankful for. And it could always get worse.

Despite the tone of this post, I do want to share a few things that are making me happy, lately. 🙂

• I am improving with my roller skating skills and hope to finally try outdoor skating, once the weather is suitable.
• I have lost a few pounds and hope to continue the progress.
• My fiancee accepted a new position in IT work and I couldn’t be more proud!
• Thanks to my Mother-In-Law’s recipe, I can make my own homemade peach cobbler.
• I’ve discovered a new line of store-bought dolls to collect and they are actually great quality for the price.
• I’m planning my next box-braid hair color to be black, teal and lime green ombre. I’m excited to try it! 😛
• My momma made her 61st birthday yesterday, August 24th