I have put off this post for a long time, but now I feel ready to talk about it. After reading over my own words in my last update, The New Normal? I find that things surely can get worse, before they get better. On October 20th, 2020 soon after my Mom’s 61st birthday, she passed away due to complications with COVID-19. Everything happened so quickly but I am grateful she did not suffer for very long. Some day, I’ll share with you all the details but it won’t be today. Even in my own head I try not to think about it. My Mom has been my #1 supporter, best friend and confidant all through out my life. Saying she will be missed is an understatement.
I felt, for my own healing process, it was necessary to finally blog about it. In my warped sense of thinking, it felt like I was letting go the last piece of her I had to hold on to. I know now that is not true; she’ll forever be engrained in me. The memories we shared last were joyous ones and I try to focus on that. 2020 brought so much loss and heartache down on Mr. Right and I. Like many others around the world, we are taking it one day at a time. As the New Year came in, I balled my eyes out wondering how the hell did we make it..and what was to come? This past year was such a disappointment in so many ways, I didn’t have the emotional strength for a yearly recap or even to look forward to the new year with a word of encouragement. 🙁 I am showing my self some grace, day by day.
Although I had to say goodbye to my dearest best friend, Erika and again to my Mom, I am still hoping for a better tomorrow. God is still good and I still have much to thank Him for.
I know He is not finished with my life yet.
Charlene M. Walker
August 24, 1959 – October 20, 2020
I love you, Ma.